All tinkered out?
Benfro book two is winging its way towards my agent as I type this (provided the Post Office isn't on strike or anything). It's been redrafted, rewritten, refettled, rejigged and renovated more times than I can begin to count. I only hope that after so much surgery it still makes some sense (well, as much sense as a story about dragons can make). Whatever else happens, I don't need to worry about it for some considerable time. I can get on with Benfro books three and four.
Or can I?
You see, when my agent first took me on, she (clue there) asked me to send her some of my other works. Hopelessly disorganised as I am, I've not managed to do this yet.
There are three manuscripts I want to send her (poor woman): Running Away, which is the first novel I ever wrote; Head, which Mr Stuart likes the most; and Abundance, which hasn't been seen by anyone yet (except Mr Stuart).
The last two are not a problem. They can go off straight away with no need for tinkering at this stage. Running Away is not so easy.
It's a Science Fiction epic, part of an open-ended sequence of novels based around a mysterious spaceship trying to find its way home (I was nothing if not ambitious back then, and I started it pre-Voyager, too.), and I sent it to many, many agents and publishers when I first finished it. One of the agents I sent it to is the one who now represents me, but she turned it down back then with the following dismissal:
So why do I want to send it to her again? Well, despite what everyone else says, I still think it's a great story. But re-reading it as I have been these past few days, I can see why most people couldn't get through to that. It's very slow to start; there's a bewildering array of characters all vying for attention from the beginning; some of these characters have frankly unpronounceable names, like Xantil Drorken, Hieronymous Garstach and Milangra Bathooit Larin (I'd just discovered the SF of Iain Banks back then). All in all, good story but very amateur writing.
And so it's back to the tinkering. Only the first fifty pages to start with - I should be able to hook them with that. And it's been a blast. I've excised great chunks of useless, unnecessary description, honed my truly awful dialogue and focussed the story on one main character, shunting the others into supporting roles. Sure it's avoiding the real work I have to do. But it's fun, and that should count for something, right?
And if Sandra can get herself a publisher, there's got to be one out there for me as well, hasn't there?
*sad fellow that I am, I dug the letter out of my file to quote here. It's dated 30/04/96, which makes me feel very, very old.
Or can I?
You see, when my agent first took me on, she (clue there) asked me to send her some of my other works. Hopelessly disorganised as I am, I've not managed to do this yet.
There are three manuscripts I want to send her (poor woman): Running Away, which is the first novel I ever wrote; Head, which Mr Stuart likes the most; and Abundance, which hasn't been seen by anyone yet (except Mr Stuart).
The last two are not a problem. They can go off straight away with no need for tinkering at this stage. Running Away is not so easy.
It's a Science Fiction epic, part of an open-ended sequence of novels based around a mysterious spaceship trying to find its way home (I was nothing if not ambitious back then, and I started it pre-Voyager, too.), and I sent it to many, many agents and publishers when I first finished it. One of the agents I sent it to is the one who now represents me, but she turned it down back then with the following dismissal:
Well written, but I don't personally like the present continuous tense. Also it's a bit slow - needs more suspense.*I was a bit miffed at this; the use of the present continuous tense was only in a four page prelude to the main story. On the other hand, this was about the most constructive criticism I got from any of the potential agents and publishers I approached. I ditched the prelude, ramped up the tension a bit at the beginning and still failed miserably to find fame.
So why do I want to send it to her again? Well, despite what everyone else says, I still think it's a great story. But re-reading it as I have been these past few days, I can see why most people couldn't get through to that. It's very slow to start; there's a bewildering array of characters all vying for attention from the beginning; some of these characters have frankly unpronounceable names, like Xantil Drorken, Hieronymous Garstach and Milangra Bathooit Larin (I'd just discovered the SF of Iain Banks back then). All in all, good story but very amateur writing.
And so it's back to the tinkering. Only the first fifty pages to start with - I should be able to hook them with that. And it's been a blast. I've excised great chunks of useless, unnecessary description, honed my truly awful dialogue and focussed the story on one main character, shunting the others into supporting roles. Sure it's avoiding the real work I have to do. But it's fun, and that should count for something, right?
And if Sandra can get herself a publisher, there's got to be one out there for me as well, hasn't there?
*sad fellow that I am, I dug the letter out of my file to quote here. It's dated 30/04/96, which makes me feel very, very old.
Comments
Just hopefully not with John's whip.
Your description of Running Away reminds me a lot of my own Kings and Rebels. Good luck with the revision. At least you seem to know where to start the thing. I'm still looking for a workable beginning. The battle scene surely is action, but it's doesn't really give any background except that the guys wear mail and use swords. :-)