Archive Hour
I keep things.
Things that really should have been thrown away a long time ago.
The attic here is stuffed full of things that might be useful one day*. A lot of them followed me from Aberdeen to Edinburgh and then on down to here. A few probably followed me from Essex up to Aberdeen, and that's going back a very long time.
Some of these things I think I'm entitled to have follow me around. My comics collection, for instance, is a thing that has been building since 1977 and that first issue of 2000AD (complete with space spinner which, sadly, I've long-since lost). I can probably make enough excuses for the enormous (and ever-growing) volume of books** that dogs my every step, though quite how useless a twenty year old Tokyo street guide can be I found out not that long ago. Likewise there's really not much point in keeping copies of the writers and artists yearbook from 1992, 93, 96, 97 and 99, but I've got them.
Then there's the computing rubbish. Hundreds of 3.5" floppy discs with stupid free programs that came on the cover of computer magazines in the early nineties live in boxes up above my head, but my computer hasn't even got a 3.5" floppy drive anymore. At least my old 5.25" floppies (which were actually floppy) have found a rest at my parents home, along with the BBC Master 128 that they belong to.***
There's enough spare motherboards, cpus, memory chips, graphics cards and other useless paraphernalia to make a decent computer, by mid-90's standards. Quite why I still keep the stuff I've no idea. But it follows me around.
And there's my archive of written guff. The endless printouts and rewrites and scribblings and annotations. I've written six novels and a travel book, averaging around four hundred pages of A4 in manuscript mode, and each of them has at least four copies covered in red biro scrawl revisions. Why do I keep them? I don't know, but they're all squirreled away in boxes marked 'R-Kive'. Who knows, maybe posterity will thank me. But I doubt it. 2000AD didn't want my Tharg's Future Shocks (except this one), so why do I keep them?
Today the Horse Doctor demanded her desk back, so I had to spend the afternoon wading through the rubbish I'd been happily filing on it for months, amongst which are several iterations of Benfro, books both one and two. I also uncovered my copy of The Complete Stuart and Harold - a much missed classic. Including the as-yet-unseen epic Vampire Shirt Buttons From Mars. This tall tale should have been aired a decade ago, but the world was not ready for it. Perhaps now its time has come - after all, I've got the office scanner here at the moment.***
* but probably not
** that's a pun, or play on words.
*** strangely enough they contain mostly a database of my growing comics collection that I began in the summer after leaving school, for want of anything better to do, and to annoy my parents who wanted me to get a job.
**** but no OCR software, so I can't scan and upload the contract from hell.
Things that really should have been thrown away a long time ago.
The attic here is stuffed full of things that might be useful one day*. A lot of them followed me from Aberdeen to Edinburgh and then on down to here. A few probably followed me from Essex up to Aberdeen, and that's going back a very long time.
Some of these things I think I'm entitled to have follow me around. My comics collection, for instance, is a thing that has been building since 1977 and that first issue of 2000AD (complete with space spinner which, sadly, I've long-since lost). I can probably make enough excuses for the enormous (and ever-growing) volume of books** that dogs my every step, though quite how useless a twenty year old Tokyo street guide can be I found out not that long ago. Likewise there's really not much point in keeping copies of the writers and artists yearbook from 1992, 93, 96, 97 and 99, but I've got them.
Then there's the computing rubbish. Hundreds of 3.5" floppy discs with stupid free programs that came on the cover of computer magazines in the early nineties live in boxes up above my head, but my computer hasn't even got a 3.5" floppy drive anymore. At least my old 5.25" floppies (which were actually floppy) have found a rest at my parents home, along with the BBC Master 128 that they belong to.***
There's enough spare motherboards, cpus, memory chips, graphics cards and other useless paraphernalia to make a decent computer, by mid-90's standards. Quite why I still keep the stuff I've no idea. But it follows me around.
And there's my archive of written guff. The endless printouts and rewrites and scribblings and annotations. I've written six novels and a travel book, averaging around four hundred pages of A4 in manuscript mode, and each of them has at least four copies covered in red biro scrawl revisions. Why do I keep them? I don't know, but they're all squirreled away in boxes marked 'R-Kive'. Who knows, maybe posterity will thank me. But I doubt it. 2000AD didn't want my Tharg's Future Shocks (except this one), so why do I keep them?
Today the Horse Doctor demanded her desk back, so I had to spend the afternoon wading through the rubbish I'd been happily filing on it for months, amongst which are several iterations of Benfro, books both one and two. I also uncovered my copy of The Complete Stuart and Harold - a much missed classic. Including the as-yet-unseen epic Vampire Shirt Buttons From Mars. This tall tale should have been aired a decade ago, but the world was not ready for it. Perhaps now its time has come - after all, I've got the office scanner here at the moment.***
* but probably not
** that's a pun, or play on words.
*** strangely enough they contain mostly a database of my growing comics collection that I began in the summer after leaving school, for want of anything better to do, and to annoy my parents who wanted me to get a job.
**** but no OCR software, so I can't scan and upload the contract from hell.
Comments
Does Mrs. MacB know about this? Or is it strictly blackmail material?
One man, some dinosaurs, and vampire shirt buttons from Mars... What more could me legion of adoring fan* want?
And I keep all my edity printouts too. I figure if I ever get famous I can auction them off for charity, or cash. Probably cash.
* No, not a typo.
I'm starting to think Roadkill was just a cover-up.
In some places, a classic is Great Expectations, or Jane Eyre. But dinosaur fucking... Well, to each their own.
Mr Stuart, you may have to post one of the tales just to clear things up (and restore your reputation).
Well, wonders never cease!
(Okay, seriously, I'm going to go behave now. Maybe.)