Monday, October 01, 2007

Sparkly clean inside

Our local advertising free-sheet plopped through the letterbox a few minutes ago, and as ever I leapt upon it as a chance to avoid doing any real work for a couple of minutes. Usually this cheaply-printed rag has nothing of interest in it whatsoever, but today this advertisement caught my eye:



Colonic irrigation? I thought that had gone out of favour in the nineties, along with the coffee enema. But there it is, in black, white and eye-catching green. You too can have a Female RGN Nurse shove a tube up your backside and pump warm water into your lower intestine.* Then you can watch as the world falls slippery out of your bottom. Lovely.

Notice also how they describe it as an internal bath. That's a very nice way of putting it. All warm and friendly. Perhaps with some scented candles and lots of bubbles. Maybe a friend. And then the list of things it can allegedly help with. I notice Halitosis is there, which makes you wonder which end the Female RGN Nurse is going to put the tube. And parasite infections - I thought this was the first world, but I guess it is Wales.

Fluid retention is another one that puzzles me. Isn't that what they do? Shove a whole lot of fluid up your bum and tell you to retain it for a while?

But it wasn't the bowel-loosening in this advertisement that gave me pause. Neither was it the list of complaints that, if you had them all, would surely mean colonic irrigation was too little, too late. No, for that you have to look at the small insert at the bottom:



All together now. Ewww.

* and let's face it, some people would pay good money just for that.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Stuart MacBride said...

I find that half a family-fun-sized bag of Fruittella works just fine...

October 01, 2007 2:29 pm  
Anonymous norby said...

I noticed that depression was on the list. I don't think colonic irrigation is really the treatment I'm looking for when in the grips of a depressive episode.

And at least with Stuart's Fruittellas you get to enjoy some tasty snacks first.

October 01, 2007 6:41 pm  

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