Tuesday, July 11, 2006

People don't half do some strange things

I promised a more comprehensive post today, and I'm afraid I have to say I lied. I would rant, but I don't have the energy. Nor can I think of anything to rant about. My writing schedule means that I no longer watch the television, and so see very little news from day to day. No news means nothing to get hot under the collar about. Even Sandra's post about the failings of the Canadian education system, which looks like it's going the same way as ours, prompted little more than a short outburst on my part. I'm too far from the subject, not having been to school in twenty years, and neither having any children to worry about.

So I have to look elsewhere for inspiration, and when all else fails, there's always statistics.

I use Statcounter to keep tabs on who's coming here (I know where you live - mwahahaha!) and one of the more enlightening functions is the keyword monitor. People end up here after looking for the strangest things. I still worry about 'murder James Oswald', though it hasn't happened yet,* and 'e-books about masturbating for guys' will take some beating,** but the latest bunch live up to my eclectic standards.

What, for instance, was someone from central London looking for when they typed in 'bugger grips facial hair'? Instructions?

And you've got to be pretty desperate if you live in St Louis, Missouri. Why else would you type 'calming smells' into google? Likewise, I'm not even sure where Lawrenceville, Georgia is, but someone there ended up here looking for 'seemed a bit daft mp3'. It must be a comedy band.

But top prize has to go to my lonely friend in Meadville, Pennsylvania. I don't think he got the answer he was looking for here. But good luck to him in his search for 'Kate Beckinsale's shoe size'.

Should you come back, it's a UK size 6.

* well, not to me. I can't vouch for any other James Oswalds out there
** pun intended


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