Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Bald of chin

No, don't panic. I haven't shaved. Nor has the wind come out and blown them in again. My face is still as furry as it was. But certain pronouncements by Mr Stuart have got me a-thinking on the whole Brotherhood of the Beard thing.

Let's face is, a beard is not an easy thing to live with. It itches like crazy, small animals try to use it for a nest, it frightens children and cats, it starts to go grey long before the hair on the top of your head (well, mine has anyway). On the plus side, it keeps your face warm in the harsh Welsh winter, it lends you an air of gravitas and wisdom, it keeps a handy supply of food crumbs in close proximity to your mouth, it frightens children and cats.

So why do I have a beard at all? Well, if truth be told, it's because I am incredibly lazy. Shaving every morning would mean getting out of my bed at least ten minutes earlier than I really have to. I can't even be bothered trimming the thing except about once a month, when the whole face gets taken down with a number two (or number one in the summer) clip on the old beard-trimmer. I can't see the point of elaborately sculpted goatees, moustaches, bugger's grips or any other kind of facial hair that still requires daily, or even weekly intervention. I guess I'm an everything or nothing kind of guy.

So is there a purpose to this rambling? Well not really. I'm just putting off the inevitable when I have to start the day's work (big pile of survey forms to be entered onto database - fun, fun, fun). But in the spirit of all things blog, let me pose a question. In all the recent wailing and moaning as a result of the London bombings, I noticed just how proud those fundamentalist mullahs and suicide bombers are of their beards. As a protest against the idiocy of this twisted religious thinking and action, I seriously considered facing the world naked of chin, cheek and upper lip*. Should I have done so? And would anyone have noticed my protest?

*OK - so this would still allow me a throatbeard, but have you ever seen how silly those look?


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