Throw away your television
My name is James Oswald and I watch too much telly.
I've been watching too much telly for some months now. It started off innocently enough. The occasional movie, perhaps a sitcom. Then I got into SF series: Stargate, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica. But I could handle it, really. I mean it was only a couple of hours here, a couple there. And it was quality time, sitting with Barbara. Together.
I don't know when I started to realise I had a problem. Maybe it was withdrawal at the end of a season. I found myself looking further afield, and there was always someone out there ready to sell me something. Farscape, Odyssey 5, Earth - Final Conflict, the names kept on adding up.
I should have been better, when they scrapped half the shows. But there were repeats to keep me going. Then a 'friend' introduced me to Discovery Channel and it's endless series on Hot Rod and Chopper manufacturers, DIY shows, This Old House with Steve and Norm. A couple of hours a week became a couple of hours a night, then more. Soon my whole life was dominated by the flickering tube. My work began to suffer. My five thousand words a day dwindled to less than one short story a month. I couldn't focus, couldn't settle down for long enough to get back into the groove. Friends asked me if I was all right and I hid my shame from them, recycling old pap to make it look like I was still the fun-loving literary type I once had been. I was only fooling myself, really.
But I never did soaps, and I never did sport. I've got some pride left, I guess.
Well, now it stops. I'm quitting telly for good. And if you fellow sufferers want to help me, I'm ready to accept that help now. Thank you.
I've been watching too much telly for some months now. It started off innocently enough. The occasional movie, perhaps a sitcom. Then I got into SF series: Stargate, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica. But I could handle it, really. I mean it was only a couple of hours here, a couple there. And it was quality time, sitting with Barbara. Together.
I don't know when I started to realise I had a problem. Maybe it was withdrawal at the end of a season. I found myself looking further afield, and there was always someone out there ready to sell me something. Farscape, Odyssey 5, Earth - Final Conflict, the names kept on adding up.
I should have been better, when they scrapped half the shows. But there were repeats to keep me going. Then a 'friend' introduced me to Discovery Channel and it's endless series on Hot Rod and Chopper manufacturers, DIY shows, This Old House with Steve and Norm. A couple of hours a week became a couple of hours a night, then more. Soon my whole life was dominated by the flickering tube. My work began to suffer. My five thousand words a day dwindled to less than one short story a month. I couldn't focus, couldn't settle down for long enough to get back into the groove. Friends asked me if I was all right and I hid my shame from them, recycling old pap to make it look like I was still the fun-loving literary type I once had been. I was only fooling myself, really.
But I never did soaps, and I never did sport. I've got some pride left, I guess.
Well, now it stops. I'm quitting telly for good. And if you fellow sufferers want to help me, I'm ready to accept that help now. Thank you.
Comments
Come on, you know you want it: it'll make you feel better! You know it will. One little show won't hurt...