I didn't even eat the chicken

Proof, if ever any were needed, that the internet is a wild and dangerous place, full of contagion and mucus. Having spent too much time reading Stuart's Blog, I seem to have caught whatever lurgy it was laid him low last week. My heart aches and a drowsy numbness pains my sense, if you like; though in truth it's my joints that ache and the drowsy numbness is ibuprofen-induced, hemlock being so difficult to get in the shops these days.

It's not often that I get ill - not having children to bring evil, sticky germs home from school helps. But like most blokes, when I am ill, I want everyone to know about it, and I want them to be sympathetic. Annoyingly, Barbara's away for a few days, so I've no-one to moan to but you, dear reader(s).

What I don't understand is how a nose can be blocked and runny at the same time.