At The First Hurdle

Planning time again!

Some of you (well, Mr Stuart), will remember that I am trying to buy a plot and build a house. Well today I had a site meeting with our chosen architectural draftsman. We're not using a fully qualified architect as they are: a)- too expensive for what we want; and b) - apt to try and persuade you that you really want to live in designer home where the bedrooms are all closet-sized and the living room is built around a functional conversation pit. I don't want to build a 'design statement'; I want a comfortable home that suits my needs and will be easy enough to sell on in a few years time. Such is not difficult to design if you've got a big enough piece of paper and a good straight ruler.

So, it was site meeting with the expert, but cheaper than an architect, fellow. It did not go well.

To explain (and perhaps digress some), there are various laws regarding the siting of a property within a plot. It must not be less than ten metres from the rear boundary. The front must not cross a line drawn 45 degrees from the nearest front corner of the nearest adjacent house. It must not be within five metres of any overhead power cables.

Remember that last one.

Now I don't care too much about a twin-line power cable running over the plot. It's not a great pylon spewing out invisible surges of Waldo energy to fry my children's' brains (I don't have any children, for that matter); just a simple, low-capacity, rural power line. But it runs on a diagonal across the plot. So taking into account the three rules above it is not actually possible to place a house anywhere in the area I have been offered for sale. At least not unless it is only about ten feet square.

Arseburgers! With a side-order of foreskin cheese!

If I'd been offered the plot I thought I was being offered, this problem would not have arisen. The line only clips one corner of that plot. I hadn't really thought about it in relation to the plot I was eventually offered, which is my bad, I guess. But I'm in a bit of a pickle (and not one of those nice onion and cucumber pickles, mind. This is the full-on lime with lots of chilli and garlic and other nasty, unidentifiable things in it).

I could, of course, pay to get the line moved around the plot. I'm told this will cost at least £15000, possibly more, at which point the whole thing stops making any kind of financial sense (as if it ever did).

But I won't fall at the first. No, siree. Tomorrow I will try and get a firmer idea of how much it will cost to move the line. Then I will suggest to Mog that he drop his asking price by that much. My reasoning is that if he doesn't, I won't be buying the plot (and at least I'm in a good position to back out if necessary). If I don't buy the plot, the only way he'll be able to sell it is to get the line moved at his own expense, and he'll have to fork out cash up front for that. Farmers don't like doing that.

I always knew it was going to be difficult to build a house. But this difficult?

Tomorrow, if you're lucky, I'll tell you all about drains.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hm. It all sounds very trying indeed. I've always lived in cities so it certainly isn't the sort of problem I've encountered before. Farmers sound a strange breed.
I visited Aberdeen again recently for the first time since graduation. I could live there I think...but country life? Not sure!
JamesO said…
It's the country life for me. I'm a rural lad at heart. Yes, I did live in Aberdeen for ten years, but then Aberdeen's just a great big village anyway.

For an alternative view on Aberdeen, check out Mr Stuart's blog. And buy his book when it comes out in May - you'll never look at the Old Toon the same way again
Anonymous said…
Erm..have you guessed who I am yet?
JamesO said…
Nope. Fun, isn't it.
Anonymous said…
Your cat is so pretty! I love cats.

You are not trying very hard to guess my identity are you?
JamesO said…
I'm going to drag it out a bit longer if I can. However:

'pretty', not something a bloke would write, so that rules out 50% (and BTW, Buddug is a manky, pissy little excuse for a Maine Coon cat who is not in my good books at the moment - and that picture doesn't show her at her best).

So, looking for a female I knew (or who knew me) at Uni. Lives in a city but who not Aberdeen. Likes films by French directors, and cats. Stumbled across my blog... just how did you stumble across my blog?
Anonymous said…
A mutual friend from University mentioned that she had heard (no idea how) you were now a writer of science fiction. (or science fantasy, perhaps?)So I thought I'd check it out.

I was most surprised to see you live in Wales as I do too (Swansea) and have done for years. I lecture. You can probably guess my subject(film).
I studied English lit at Aberdeen and you were kind enough to lend me some of your books.
JamesO said…
Did I ever get them back? ;}#

Well, well, well. A lecturer in film in Swansea. Shouldn't be too hard to sniff you out now.

If you've ever had the misfortune to visit my website you'll see that I have written some SF, some fantasy and some other things. I've not managed to get anything published yet, but I'm going to buy Mr Stuart a coat with extra big tails on it, since his editor is also in charge of the Fantasy and SF lines at Harper Collins.

Mind you, he's already bullied his agent into looking at my latest SF novel, the outcome of which I await with bated breath...

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